Feed Airbrush

10 years ago

Feed Airbrush
Feed Airbrush

What do you think of this poem?

I wrote this poem and was hoping to find some feed back…please let me know what you think.

While some wealthy man
rolls in his money
some girl at home
sucks in her tummy

she wants to look like
what he says she can
so she can be happy
be thin, so she can

she would be pretty
good,loved and taut
she will be everything
that now she is not

when it won’t work
the man with the bread
will show her more pictures
of girls almost dead

offer another
bottle of magic
her heart starts to flutter
its working, how tragic

but its not enough
to be a size two
zero is where its at
size two will not do

so down goes the finger
the toothbrush, the hairbrush
what she’ll never realize
is she’ll need an airbrush

what she cannot see
or establish right now
is she looks like a ghost
the man, like a cow

I think it’s a good poem.

I like the way the break in the middle gives a pause between all the things she wants and the result (disappointment) of her longings.

I also like the very subtle critique of mass-media images of virtually anorexic models being presented as ideals of beauty.

And the finger, hairbrush references almost slipped by me – the character uses them to induce vomiting. Really powerful.

The three “brush” items are fine as is. Removing “hairbrush” would negate the power of “the finger,” and “airbrush” harks back to the slick, glossy images of the magazine that’s used to urge her to conform at the cost of health and true beauty.

Write on!

How to Airbrush : Using Siphon Feed Airbrushes

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